Have you had arguments with your partner very often? Yes, I guess. And that’s quite normal. The reason why we say “opposites attract” is, we do not catch feelings for people who are exactly the same as us. Loving someone deeply does not automatically cancel out your differences. The differences even become more conspicuous after you both become a couple.
This is why couples sometimes have different perspectives about certain things. The difference in perspectives soon becomes a basis for disagreement, then an argument begins. When a disagreement matures into an argument, what is the best way to handle it? We noticed how frustrating this can be for men, and decided to step in.
Why do couples disagree?
Sharing one’s life with another person who was once a total stranger can be a tard bit difficult. In the beginning of the relationship, couples are often too engrossed with knowing each other that they don’t have enough time left to get on each other’s nerves. As the butterflies in their tummy begin to die, they will disagree, argue till they find a point of compromise. Otherwise, drifting apart becomes the other option.
Couples argue because they were raised in completely different families, possibly in different countries or cultures, have varying personalities, mindsets, etc. Finding a middle ground for some of the issues that might arise is not always easy. It might even be impossible if the two partners are strong-willed, rigid, and hard-headed.
Partners are likely to have recurring brawls about one or more of the following; finances, difficult family members, poke nosing friends, infidelity and trust issues, and parenting styles. They can also argue about some other really silly things like taking mouth-wash out of the tube haphazardly or chewing loudly.
Having healthy arguments
Do you know that healthy arguments, are in fact, beneficial to relationships? A 2012 online study, found that “couples who engage in healthy conflict are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship compared to those who ignore difficult conversations.” Arguments can help couples understand each other and communicate their needs. A healthy argument is a sure pointer that you both are being real.
Since arguments are beneficial to relationships, should anyone go instigating them at just any time? No! Instigated argument is not healthy. It is, however, wise to prepare one’s mind, expect arguments and be proactive enough to know how to handle them beforehand. The simple rule is: anticipate arguments but do not instigate them. Let them just happen, because, they are unavoidable.
What to do during subsequent arguments with your girlfriend
Most women do not know how to have difficult conversations calmly. Some women try to use silent treatment to evade arguments, which does nothing but worsen the situation. Some others who are outspoken, reel out verbal abuses during an emotional outburst, or nag endlessly. This is why our first rule of healthy arguments is to the men. Men should know that “the moment they start trying to win an argument, they’ve already lost.”
Never lose your cool while arguing with your girlfriend, else, you will fail as a man. You need self-control when dealing with women’s emotions. Be cool, calm, collected in every way. This is a difficult one, no doubt but it is the best way to ensure things do not blow up!