When people get married, it’s normal for their friends and relatives to start giving them a curious eye. If eyes could talk, you would hear that they are saying, “Did you guys do it?” Yes, by “do it”, they mean “had sex”. The wedding night is viewed as the day that a couple should consummate their marriage. There are lots of myths and fantasies about wedding nights.
Religion has made scarce the tradition of consummating a relationship before the wedding. In the past, some Nigerian cultures believed in pre-marital sex as a means of confirming the virginity of the lady to be married.
Since then, all eyes have turned towards the wedding day. So it’s kind of normal to think that people who have kept themselves chaste for so long would be in a hurry to “do the do” once the knot is tied.
But how many people actually have sex on their wedding nights?
Despite the popular belief of sex on wedding night, only 48% of Nigerians actually have sex on the first night according to a study carried out by Posh and Venus.
This is consistent with a more detailed survey carried out by Bluebella. The survey showed that the other 52% who didn’t hurry to get under the sheets on the first night held back because they were too tired. Or that they were too drunk from the day’s festivities, in the case of men. One third of the people had their first sex the next morning, while one tenth of them waited a whole two days.
Weddings are draining — especially Nigerian weddings, whose successes are hinged on the number of people in attendance. If one is not wealthy enough to hire wedding planners, most of the work is usually outsourced to relatives and have to be actively supervised by the couple.
How good is wedding night sex?
Well, the issue is not the night itself but the state of the couple. If the couple is in good shape, of course they can hit it. Asides fatigue, another thing that could mess up with the flow of a good wedding night sex is anxiety. As first-timers, people might find it really awkward to go nude in their partner’s presence. Add that to the inherent pressure of first nights, and the pressure of having a memorable first sex (which often sets the tone for subsequent intercourse), and you have a mental wreck.
Ladies are more likely to enjoy sex when they are at their most comfortable psyche-wise. This means that the foreplay has to start hours before the deal in the bed. They have to be mentally prepared for it, and a wedding is not the best of days to get in the mood.
A couple might enjoy cuddling on their first night better than they would sex. Cuddling is a more stress-relieving way of bonding. This would help them settle. Depending on the feels the next morning, they may then consummate the marriage.
So, point is: wedding night sex isn’t a must. I mean, you have an eternity ahead of you to try it out in different positions and places. What is the rush!