When you ask a Nigerians — women, for example — what they consider important in relationships, popular answers would include a tall, dark and handsome man (who also works at some top company). They will pause a bit after this, then they will add “God-fearing” to make their desires more balanced. From men, you get the same thing too: stunning looks, top culinary skills etc. No one mentions the need for sarcasm in a relationship.
Once in a while, people also chip in that they want someone with a good sense of humor. But it appears that not many consider sarcasm an important factor in relationships.
What is sarcasm to begin with?
Sarcasm is an indirect form of speech where a person says one thing and means the opposite. This technique is usually deployed to generate a comic effect or to subtly take jibes at people. While sarcasm is embraced wholly in literature, it is not that favored in relationships.
In a survey conducted by Posh and Venus, it was revealed that only 14% considered sarcasm important in relationships.
In fact, sarcasm has now been fingered by some psychologists and counselors as one of the most common complaints by couples. Sarcasm, when done nicely and less frequently, can be a great source of entertainment but when it becomes a repeated activity, it causes distrust and may also be considered by the victim as a disguised insult.
Some of the classic cases of Nigerian sarcasm is that of a mother telling her child to drop the plate on her head when he asks where to drop it. Or a father saying “Good morning, sir” to his child when the child forgets to greet him on time.
Example of sarcasm in a relationship
Here is an illustration of sarcasm in a relationship: a husband who always snores deeply asks his wife if she had a great night and she replied saying, “yes, you were very quiet”. Some men might laugh that off, but many will feel insulted.
Interestingly, some people want partners who understand sarcasm as that is a sign of wit and intelligence.
So that ends it: having a sarcastic partner indicates that you are dating someone intelligent. The question now is: can you handle the sarcasm when they dish it out to you?