Ask a Nigerian woman what her spec is, and her answer will be tall, dark, handsome, and of, course, rich. How else are the men supposed to offset the bride price? As it turns out, wealth cannot buy loyalty in relationships. One would think that financially dependent women might be more likely to hold onto her man.
But a new study of Nigerian relationships has shown that women who are financially dependent on their partner are more likely to be unfaithful. This might seem like a surprising revelation but it really is not.
Let me walk you through typical Nigerian relationships:
First, there is what I’d like to call the ‘Sugar Daddy’ complex. Women are more likely to date people on a higher rung of the financial ladder. At least, compared to men who hardly check a woman’s financial standing before dating. For women, the wealthy individual is the Sugar Daddy. Who is mostly, a middle-aged or older man. The lady is much younger – say a 10-year gap. These women go into relationships with the mindset that their (richer) partner serves as cash-cow.
Howbeit, women’s needs aren’t limited to finances alone. There is the sexual need, for example, which the regular middle-aged Sugar Daddy might not be able to fulfill. Women are then forced to look outwards.
Something to know about financially dependent women
Interestingly, the thing to note is that a man need not even be wealthy for a woman to depend on him. We hear stories of young men who work their backs off in construction sites just for woman. They just wanted to be able to buy her a new smartphone or pay her school fees. Later on, it would be revealed that the young man isn’t the only boyfriend. In that case, the guy is much less of a provider. Hence, the lady opens up multiple relationships so she could reach sufficiency.
In a more detailed study, by Christin Munsch, Ph.D., an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Connecticut, reveals something more interesting. He opined that cheating could be influenced by the psychological need of women to want to be equals in relationships. In relationships where one feels bettered financially by their partner, one is more likely to consider infidelity just to make themselves feel less useless.
The case is quite the opposite for Nigerian men. Although it could also be sexual prowess of a stud or physical appearance. But the starter pack for infidelity for men is money. A financially dependent man is less likely to cheat because his chances at acceptance are low.
So how do financially independent women fare in relationships?
Christin Munsch found, in her research, that women who were financially independent and breadwinners of their family were less likely to cheat. This — as she puts it — is because they are more likely to engage in “deviance-neutralizing behaviors.” And, are more concerned with amplifying their husband’s masculinity.
In all, relationships are complex and there really isn’t any fixed way to win a person’s love. Or even cement that love into loyalty. But there is no need to fret. Going into relationships with the suspicion that your partner will cheat might cripple the relationship before actual infidelity.