Do you know that couples who spend so much time together, soon lose attraction? Let me explain.
Ignore my rhyme but when it comes to adapting to situations, humans are adept at it. It’s the way we are built. A person who has suffered a particular pain for a long time slowly builds a resistance to the pain, and it’s the same thing with joy. Experience a particular sense of joy for so long and it becomes just like every other sensation — dull and deprived of the flashiness of the initial spark.
But let’s not spend time waxing philosophical. The truth is, even with relationships, this adaption effect holds true. It’s why marriage remains the scariest thing on earth (a close second is being chased by a dog) because of the getting-used-to factor.
What happens to couples who spend so much time together
According to psychiatrist, Jared Heathman, the brain accepts all incoming stimulation and determines the response so changing the stimulus helps to keep the brain interested.
How do I live with my fiance for sixty years? Should I reinvent myself? How do I remain attracted? For people in relationships, these are the kind of thoughts that plague their minds.
Attraction drops with time. Coming in constant contact with the things or persons we are attracted to confers on such meetings the dreariness of monotony. Because of the time spent together, couples exhaust all of their attraction and start to live their days in a most boring fashion. On the other hand, couples who spend very little time with each other are mostly able to retain the freshness of their relationship.
But it would be ridiculous to advise couples to deliberately stay away from each other on this ground.
How to sustain attraction in a relationship
The question now is: How do couples then sustain their attraction? This question can be settled by figuring out what sparked the attraction in the first place. Studies have shown that couples who share common interests or hobbies have stronger bonds. Because of this connection, the couples would have near-inexhaustible resource to explore; the conversations would be richer, and so would their experiences.
Without a common base of hobbies, the relationship can quickly dissipate into nothing. However, all hope is not lost. There are a number of ways to bring back sparks to relationships and the most important of them all is spontaneity.
Doing the usual might offer a sense of stability for a while and then it descends into boredom. Nobody wants that. To break away from this, one must always come up with creative ways to shake things and keep the relationship just a fresh as ever.
You could also up the ante in the sexual department. Okay. Roll your eyes. For many, the first attraction to their partners is mostly sexual. And sleeping next to a naked, warm body could very well rekindle those flames. Even if nakedness isn’t your thing (I wonder why not), find other ways to build up the sexual tension. As Caleb Backe puts it, “Remind each other, without words, what it is you love about each other so damn much,”
Be creative. Send your partner sweet text messages even when they are in the room with you. When it comes to relationships, campaign doesn’t end after the elections.