If you have been in love before, you will agree with me that falling in love is such a beautiful thing. The way people glow and become more optimistic about life when they fall in love makes us ‘envious.’ However, it feels a little different when our close friends fall in love. It’s not like we are not happy for them but the reality of severing bonds of friendship makes us feel bad. Why do we lose friends when we fall in love?
This crazy little thing called love, can sweep just about anyone off their feet. It often begins with an attraction, and grows into something so overwhelmingly huge. Body chemicals like adrenalin, dopamine, vasopressin, and oxytocin play a big role in the whole process of falling in love. They are actually the reason why you get butterflies fluttering in your tummy.
What are the downsides of falling in love no one talks about?
Love silences the voice of reason. More often than not, when people fall in love, they do the dumbest things ever. They believe everything their lover say and do not check for inconsistencies or illogicalities in their promises and utterances. This is what they mean when they say “love is blind.”
Lethal bravery is also one downside of love which we sometimes give the fancy name, ‘sacrifices.’ The movies, and romance novels often portray characters who show lethal bravery of saving their lovers from a very dangerous situation to be truly in love.
When love goes bad it becomes manipulative and destructive. It takes a long time for anyone who was in a manipulative relationship to recover. For some people, they never heal and the carry the hurt throughout their lifetime.
Loss of friends: Falling in love requires that you make room for your new-found love. This mostly requires shedding friends and even family members. You begin to spend less time with that bestie of yours and just before you know it, ice walls stand between you two.
Why we lose friends when we fall in love
An average person will lose about two friends when they fall in love. According to an Oxford University study, “a person’s core group of friends, which numbers about five people, drops by two as a new lover comes to dominate daily life.” The study further reveals that a core friendship group includes people you see at least once a week and people you go to in moments of crisis which is usually an average of 5 people.
Robin Dunbar, a professor of evolutionary anthropology at Oxford, explained that “People who are in romantic relationships- instead of having the typical five [individuals] on average, they only have four in that circle. And bearing in mind that one of those is the new person that’s come into your life, it means you’ve had to give up two others.”
Finding love and friendship in one person is great, but you need your friends, keep them close!