Infidelity is the major cause of breakups in relationships. When it comes to the details of the guilty parties in cheating, statistics have shown that men are more likely to cheat than women.
However, this is not to say women are saints. After all, there is that incriminating Durex that puts Nigerian women top of the infidelity list. According to the US General Social Survey, 20% of men cheat as compared to the 13% of women, but the gap is becoming thinner by the year.
The way the society is structured makes it somewhat easier for men to be brazen about their own infidelity. It’s not uncommon to see lasses on the laps of married men at beer parlors and also not uncommon to see men prowling the female hostels in Nigerian universities. In fact, this is the norm. Women do not have such “luxury”.
But brazen as they can be with infidelity, many men like to keep what happens outside, outside. They do not desire to upset the balance of their home so they go about their affairs with stealth when they are around the house.
Quite a number of women live each day wondering what their husbands are up to especially on days when they work late or when they go out on one of those interstate business conferences that span the entire weekend.
Trust the hounds in women: they can pick up the faintest of feminine scents, lipstick stains and any odd rumple to the shirts of their husbands. They also eavesdrop calls, and quickly inspect WhatsApp messages for any incriminating emoji-littered texts when their man is in the bathroom. But this method doesn’t always work. There is a joke, which I’m sure you must have heard, about men spending time in their car after work deleting messages and call dialogues to their mistresses before entering the house.
So, how then do we nab these cheats?
Like that famous AIDS tagline, cheating doesn’t show on the face. But a study has shown that wealth (and the reckless spending of it) is a common quality of cheats. For most men, wealth and women are symbols of power and a man reckless with his dollars is likely to be just as reckless with women. Adulterers, according to the study, earn an average of £52,000 a year. Another study showed that men who had more were more inclined (psychologically) to be dissatisfied with their partners.
I do not find it very hard to believe this. Both emotional and, specifically, sexual infidelity are expensive ventures to begin with. To keep up, one must be emotionally invested into a person or must have enough dough to throw around to make up for the lack of emotional attachment.
Think about it: this is probably why the expression “Call me Zaddy” exists. Zaddy is the figure of a rich, middle-aged man capable of shouldering the financial burden of his mistresses. Zaddy changes cars at will. Zaddy burns money at parties he sponsors or attends. For Zaddy, money is expendable and so are women.
But entering into a relationship with the default mentality that your partner will cheat could be counterintuitive. Relationships come with vulnerability and everybody deserves the benefit of doubt.